Nandos reject Tory plan to offer discounts to members

Reports in the Times indicate that the Tories are planning to boost their weak membership numbers by offering a package of discounts, including money off Nandos.

Unfortunately for the Conservative Party, a spokesperson for Nandos told the i that: “As a brand we have no political affiliations and we are not considering this.”

Responding to the news, a Labour sauce said: "The desperate Tories offering a Nando’s discount scheme was always a peri peri stupid idea."

The Tories only have one quarter of the total Labour membership, and fear being swamped at the next general election by the sheer number of activists Labour can mobilise. They are looking at a range of ways to attract new members, particularly younger ones, as the party fears they will be permanently be disconnected from the younger generation.

Other ideas include special ‘VIP conference passes’ for especially ‘talented’ young members, so that they can do meet and greets with the Tory top brass. Ben Bradley MP, of the libel and vasectomy fame, is leading the charge on this issue, so they will need all the luck they can get.

Unfortunately, the Times has also reported that the central party is in an ongoing battle to get access to local party data, which constituency parties are unwilling to hand over. Distrust between Conservative Associations and the Conservative Central Office has been growing in recent years, with the former extremely displeased by the imposition of candidates at the last general election.

The grassroots are growing impatient with Theresa May, and insiders suggest that she would not have been the membership’s first choice if the leadership election between May and Leadsom had been allowed to go to a vote. Most want her to resign as leader before the next election - though to be fair, that is also true of her own MPs.

But with their discount idea shot down, it’s back to the drawing board for the Conservative Party.


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